King Ahasuerus had readily agreed to Haman's plan. A mass genocide of the Jewish nation. He put a spin on it for the king, claiming they were a hindrance to his kingdom-to him even. Haman had taken some time, and learned the Jewish customs. When he found out they worshiped one God, claiming He was the one true God, Haman knew he had found his hook. At long last, his plan was in motion.
Haman smiled into his wine glass. At this very moment, the king's couriers were riding out to every province. He could almost see the people reading the decree, then rereading the decree to see if it was really true. Fathers flipping the tables in powerless rage. Mothers clutching their children in anguish. Young men and women overcome with fear. And Mordecai. Oh, what he would give to see Mordecai's face when he read the decree. He would know why. He would know who. Haman took another sip of his wine. Yes, Mordecai would know who.
When Mordecai woke that morning, it had been a day just like any other day. Now everything had changed. The King had issued a decree.
They were to die. All of his people. Sentenced to death like they were criminals.
His fists clenched and relaxed. Clenched and relaxed. Breathing in and out. This was Haman's doing. Did he cause this? Was this his fault? His refusal to bow to Haman had resulted in this?
Mordecai could hear the screams and cries all around him, and he joined in with a loud, gut-wrenching, lung-popping scream of his own. He dropped to his knees, and laid his face in the dirt. His tears mixed with the dirt, caking his face with mud. "Yahweh!" He screamed. "Yahweh!" He torn at his tunic and robes. Ripping the cloth over and over again, until it was shreds.
Mordecai knew he was wallowing in hopelessness and fear, but there was nothing else he could do at the moment. This was bleak. This could be their darkest hour. The end of the Israelite nation. He pounded his fist into the ground. He didn't know what to do.
He sat straight up. Esther! He couldn't see her; it was against the law in his current state of mourning. But Lord willing, maybe someone would tell her. He got up and started running for the king's gate. He would stay there morning and night. He would mourn and cry loudly. He would lay there in sackcloth and ashes. His feet pounded against the packed ground. He would trust and believe. He would fast and pray. "Yahweh, let your hand be in this!"
Based on Esther 3:7-4:3
There will always be people who stand against us and God. This was what Mordecai was facing. He hadn't bowed to Haman. He had stood for God. He had passed the test, right? So why were he and his people facing death? Sometimes we make a stand for God, and feel like that stand has come back to kick us in the rear, send us flying, and landing us in a pile of mud. Was the first stand worth it?
Absolutely.
"One who is faithful in very little is also faithful in much, and one who is dishonest in a very little is also dishonest in much." Luke 16:10
These are the moments when we find out if our seed is going to live. If we are going to continue to be faithful, no matter what the outcome. These are the times we need to turn to God, rather then sink into a pit of despair.
Mordecai planted himself in front of the king's gate, and as we will see from his conversation with Esther, He knew God still had his hand in this. God is bigger then our sackcloth and ashes.
"Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for he who promised is faithful." Hebrews 10:23
Those moments are terrifying, but they are the moments when we rise from the ashes with our souls screaming, "My God is faithful! I will be faithful!" Don't abandon Him, because he has not abandoned you. Be the one standing for God despite the sackcloth and ashes. Stand your ground so that one day the Father can say to you, "Well done, good and faithful servant. You have been faithful over a little; I will set you over much. Enter into the joy of your master." (Matthew 25:23)
This is a link to the song, Stand in the Rain, by Superchick. I felt it really went with today's blog.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hZjRMa7Pmj4
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