Ananias wondered if the Lord moved and spoke the same way to everyone. Did He have characteristics, a way of nature, a strong yet soft presence, that burned a hole of love into His followers?
Ananias had been praying.
Now the Lord was about to speak.
His vision clouded, and that burning, yet peaceful feeling took up residence in his chest. Swirls of holy light filled his vision, and if he squinted and focused with extreme precision, Ananias thought he could see a face.
"Ananias," the Lord said.
"Here I am, Lord." His desire to serve the Lord was strong. He would do anything for Him, even lay down his own life.
Or so he thought.
Ananias listened in disbelief as the Lord spoke. He didn't want to do that. No, he wouldn't do that. Surely, surely God was not serious. He couldn't do this.
Based on Acts 9:10-13
"Now there was a disciple at Damascus named Ananias. The Lord said to him in a vision, 'Ananias.' And he said, 'Here I am, Lord.'" Acts 9:10
So I know I've been stuck in Acts for. a. long. time. But I'm not done yet. Sorry guys. ;)
If you keep reading this section, you see God tell Ananias to go do something that Ananias really does not want to do. At all.
But here's my thing.
We tell God, "Use me. Send me."
Then when He tries to do that, we put up a fight because it's not what we want to do. That's what Ananias did. He pleaded with God, trying to get out of this mission from Him. We can't do that.
When God called Ananias, he answered. He said, "Here I am, Lord." He didn't say, "I'll only answer if I like your plan."
I'll be 100% honest with you guys - I'm so guilty of this. However, I don't want to have just a willing heart. I don't want to argue with God about the aspects of His plan that I find unappealing. I don't want to bless Jesus with my mouth, and disobey Him with my actions. I want to go and do.
So the next time God calls, and you answer, go and do.
V. Joy Palmer